he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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