I need to stop coming to work sober
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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