I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize