So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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