HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Every concussion has its silver lining
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
