So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
