Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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