I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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