Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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