so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize