At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
