ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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