Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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