The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
soo... how was my night?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
