What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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