Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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