You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
