If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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