Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
