How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm like, not good at living.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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