i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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