the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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