If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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