what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just googled if crying burns calories
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Who died my cat blue again?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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