I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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