eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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