you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
