What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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