Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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