You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
