CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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