Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
