I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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