Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
