I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
