ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
