if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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