I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
