He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
