I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
