I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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