You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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