Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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