Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
That's when you crack a 10am beer
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
