everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize