it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
