I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
