Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
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I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
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I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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