I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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