I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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