im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
