GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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