i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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