Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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