I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
this hospital has no fireball
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
