Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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